but u know hw hard is it for me to be happy again nw??
u wun understand me.. all day long i juz feel like crying.
i dunno wad happens to me! i'm really hate and afraid of myself...
i dun even know hu i am anymore. so do u..
u all have been treating me the same way too, u think i dont care?
do u know how hard and pain izit for me to see everyone of us drifting apart away?
u really dun understand how i really feel..
u think i'm brave enough to face u all now? i dun even like myself!
i dun even know myself!
i just wanna kill myself canxzs!!
but i'm sry to say guys.. the old evien has became a _|_-ing stupid idiot asshole now
i'm currently cnt find back the old evien..
as thr are still much more things bothering me..
i know u cnt c my post nw, but how much i really wan u to know what am i feeling/wr8ting nw..
and maybe i'm a lousy fren after all? disappointed to see us 3 slowly drifting apart.. i dont want it to happen. but i really hate this year.. it totally sucks! i had no idea wad happen to me.. really.
i know that u all cnt trust me anymore, i want to have the 3 muskerteers back, but idk y it just seem to be not the right time yet. the main prob that i change is because i'm getting more and more weak, i cnt stand the pain i'm having nowadays.. and u all are treating me the different way. i've been worrying bout relationships between frenz and others. but i just show-ed my weakness to u all this year.. so what being such a cheerful on the outside? i'm still drousy in the inside.. and it's not that i wanna avoid u all, is because my head are thinking bout all the probs i have! and i nvr realised that u all were koling me.
and not jus u all cried, i cried whenever i'm thinking bout u all and last year.. it seriously breaks my heart.
signing off
i still love u guys.. <3